Save the Drama! — The Loving Gift of a Family Meeting

It’s an unfortunate, far-too-common tale…

A loved one passes away, and in the aftermath, family chaos ensues. Bickering. Drama. Hurt feelings. Broken relationships. Legal battles.

In his book Splitting Heirs, Ron Blue suggests a simple but often neglected solution: a family meeting.

A family meeting paves the way for healthy dialogue about your values, goals and plans.

To be most effective, a family meeting may involve help from a trusted advisor, attorney, or family friend as a conversation facilitator. Or, it may be as simple as sitting down with your adult children or other loved ones for an open, honest conversation.

Through a family meeting, you can…

• Teach and explain. “The family meeting gives your heirs a chance to hear from you – your heart, your wishes,” writes Blue. “It also gives them the permission and opportunity to ask questions.”
• Share wisdom. Discuss important financial principles, such as budgeting, investing, saving and charitable giving.
• Unite family. Model your desire for the family to communicate openly and to be united rather than divided in difficult times.
• Manage expectations. Help everyone get on the same page to eliminate a “coping gap” (the difference between expectations and reality) for your heirs when they receive more or less from your plan than what they had expected. 

Admittedly, for many, the idea of holding a family meeting is awkward at best – terrifying at worst.

But as Blue explains, it’s a key aspect of any effective estate plan. He writes, “You will have a family conference. It’s just a matter of whether you will be alive to attend. … Who can better discuss our motivations, hopes, desires, and blessings with your family: you, or your lawyer reading your will?”

Ready to plan your family meeting? Request your free copy of “Sharing Your Plan with Your Loved Ones: A Guide for Your Family Meeting” by emailing fellowship@fcfi.org